Why Neutral Thinking Helps [And The Science Behind Negative Thinking]:

"We are expecting some delay in the arrival of your flight" read a message on my cellphone. It was bad weather, and I was definitely grumpy with the delay. Angry, even. A little disappointed in the airlines as well. A mixed bag of emotions, that I was sure would ruin the rest of the day.

Strolling through the airport, I noticed this book that was on the 'TopSellers' shelf. I bought this book, read it thoroughly in just a few sittings; and I decided to link this thinking to almost every front of my life. Here are just some areas that could benefit from this way of thinking:

1. Work

2. Relationships

3. A pandemic

4. A calamity

5. Uncertainty

6. Health concerns

It's easy, I first thought. You force yourself to not think negatively, is that all? But then again, why is there a book focusing so heavily on 'Thinking Neutrally'. There are a hundred and billion topics that we can talk about, why are we really forcing ourselves to think neutrally in any given scenario?

To come to a conclusion, I went back to one of the recent experiences I had with a friend of mine. I revisited the situation and played it scene by scene. It has to be one of the three emotions: Positive, negative or neutral. Or not think anything at all, which is impossible considering human brains.

The scenario: One of my closest friends calls me up telling me about her chronic illness. She asks me to support her throughout this journey. I oblige and I go with her to the hospital to get a checkup done. This result would decide whether or not it's a life threatening illness. We now wait for the report to come through.

There are several trains of thoughts running through, with different emotions as well. I was being extremely optimistic that I didn't feel it would be a life threatening event, but on the surface. Beneath the facade, I was equally scared of what the result would be, and I didn't see why it wouldn't turn out positive. She, on the other hand, has almost given up in despair about her result.

• The negative way, [For 80% of people, 80% of times it is the natural way]: As soon as we hear a negative (not always) news, we start thinking negatively. What we call 'Negative' is technically our brain's way of protecting itself. We think negatively because we are trying to protect ourselves against a looming, invisible and threatening enemy. The natural way of thinking becomes: Oh my god, this is the end of life and I haven't even experienced half of things I wanted to. The reluctant to even face something unpleasant is taxing, and our brains usually would want to shut down anything unpleasant.
  

• The positive way, [For 80% of people, 80% of times it is the forced way]: Whenever we are bestowed upon difficult circumstances, the first instinct is always to prepare ourselves against the danger by thinking negatively. Very rarely would our minds think about what could go right - unless forced to.
  

Amid all of this, there's another stream of thinking : The neutral way of thinking. Neither too scared, nor too confident.

But before that, lets dig deep into why negative thinking comes natural to humans.

When early humans were hunting and making sure they were defending themselves against any sort of danger, anything that posed as a deviation from normal looked like a danger to them. A soft rustling in the grass was seen as a snake or a lion. Someone missing for hours might have been perceived as dead as a result of animal attack, perhaps.

Our brains, thus, are hardwired to protect ourselves from any and every danger. With times evolving, the definition of threat and danger as well changed drastically. Now 'Threat' could be a life threatening ailment, or getting fired from a job or getting your heartbroken by your partner. With evolving times, our defence mechanisms as well have gone up in a way that negative thinking has become our coping mechanism to prepare for unknowns.

But there are way too many negatives of always thinking about what can go wrong (or negatively). We spike up our blood pressure, our anxiety gets the better of us and the decisions we make when we are anxious are not always the best decisions to come up with.

But the opposite of this way of thinking - the positive thinking - is equally damaging as well. Completely disregarding any danger and behaving as if there is no danger is not how humans are wired. The idea is not to discard any sort of disturbance and keep living life as is, but to take into account the facts of the situation; without letting emotions come in the way.

The book throws light on why this sort of thinking is essential, and how pulling yourself back to 'Reality' is really important. I summarised what the book really meant, when it said 'Neutral Thinking':

1. Take a deep breath first: When we find ourselves in difficult situations and notice our heart rate going around and about, our defences flying up and our guards preparing ourselves for something to go wrong -- take a deep breath. Hold back and breath in. These are the most vulnerable situations that almost always make humans become impulsive. It could have been very easy for my friend and I to simply run away from the hospital in impulse to avoid the bad news, to take on more stress than we can about the symptoms that she was even showing. It was equally difficult for us to stay put at the clinic waiting for results and also to not feel too sad about the situation.
   

2. Take into account the 'facts': Humans are emotional beings. We tend to find emotions that would make us feel 'humane'. In order for this to happen, we often forget the fact that the facts have almost nothing to do with your emotions. We dramatise situations sometimes as well, and even that has nothing to do with facts. So it is important to take into account the 'Facts' as is, with no emotions or feelings linked to it. The facts still remained true that there were symptoms showing up on my friend, and there was a good chance of the results coming out to be positive. But it was also a fact that the results hadn't come yet and the doctors were monitoring her improvements over a period of time.
   

3. Sometimes no reaction is a reaction: When something hits south, one of the first instincts is always to do something about it, take an action or even give a reaction. With exceptions, for sure, but sometimes not doing anything for the time being is the wisest of things to do. More often than not it's a by-product of our emotions and our survival instinct to act on it and push us to safer base. There's a very thin line between being emotionless and being rational about the facts at hand. The latter is tougher than the former.
   

4. Being aware of our biases and past shortcomings: Many a time you'd find yourself absolutely blinded by what look 'hunches' or 'gut feelings'. But I feel they are our biases that play a very important role, and rather silently. So when we force ourselves to look at 'facts' and facts alone, you are essentially asking yourself to not look at the biases or past experiences playing any role in your decision making. Someone I knew had a similar experience and her health had deteriorated even when she as undergoing treatment, so I was subconsciously letting my understanding of these beliefs lead my decision making skills for her and for me.
   

5. What has already happened, already happened: Humans often worry about the future, play scenarios of how things would have panned out if they hadn't done ______. But the 'fact' again stays the same that whatever needed to happen, happened and there's nothing we can change about it. Another mistake that I always made was 'worrying' about future and already imagining the scenarios of what could go wrong. That's technically me manifesting my way into things going wrong.

I do worry about where to draw the line. There's a thin line between being on auto-pilot and taking control of the situation by acting step by step. There's also a thin line between being neutral and being emotionless.

This definitely forces me to think about where to draw the line of being neutral healthily and feeling what one has to feel otherwise.

This book is one of the bests that there is, that talks about controlling ones' mindset and not letting emotions ride high.

What's your default when things hit south?

• Negative and anxious
• Positive and carefree
• Auto-pilot

This book is one of the bests that there is, that talks about controlling ones' mindset and not letting emotions ride high.