Each one of us has gone through times when getting up from the bed would seem like a task, when making yourself a decent meal would seem impossible and when treating yourself with coffee would sound unfair.
I have been there. I have been ridden with guilt and regret at times that doing anything for me (even bathing) seemed like I didn't deserve any of the good things.
I had a phase which was tiring and trying, all at once. I'd always excuse myself from meals, tasty food and even coffee because I thought I didn't deserve it. I was upset, mad, regretful and even embarrassed of myself that no good feeling would come near me.
It's never "Get your shit together today" or "Forget all that happened right away and move on as if nothing happened". It's always the small things, the tiny changes, little thoughts and micro changes in how you see the incident that would eventually go on to make huge changes in your life.
It took really good survival instincts for me to get over that phase and really cater to myself. What worked for me were:
Get up and leave your bed.
As tough as it sounds, the first step is to step out the bed. The bed's comfort eventually is also the reason why you have depressing thoughts and never ending loops of sadness. Everything starts with your body feeling active and in a safe space. Up until it will feel like everything's a downhill battle, it will keep sending out negative vibes.
Have a warm water bath
The small thing - Pull yourself in to the shower and turn in on the geyser. Make sure to have a good warm water bath and scrub everything off. You'll feel the sadness too going away bit by bit.
Eat a full course meal
Most of our anxiety stems from the fact that we are hungry, dehydrated and devoid of enough nutrients. When we do feel that, we are bound to be more agitated and negative in all ways. Have a full course meal and hydrate yourself just enough to get yourself through the next hour.
One hour at a time
Sometimes, when you are in a bad place, you can end up feeling like everything is falling apart and even the tiniest of things might overwhelm you. The idea again is to not be overwhelmed looking at the bigger picture at times and really just look at what the next hour holds for you
Use coloured pages / pens / to-do lists to get the adrenaline rushing in
Anything that you are doing or planning to do, make sure to use colour blocked diaries or entries that our brains like so much. If you do not respond to coloured charts, resort to anything that initially excited your brain before the wave of sadness took over
Go for a walk without your phone or any gadget
Really just go for a simple walk, with no agenda of buying anything or talking to one. Just walk. And make sure to always look at people, the trees and everything around you with presence of mind than just staring down at the road and coming back home. The idea is to interact with nature and normal life a little more
Journal everything down
Writing thoughts could easily be one of the most genuine things that we can do to ease our hearts and brains. With no judgement, and true to god kind of a write-up you can just lift up the burden of so many emotions off your shoulder and make your brain look at things with clarity
Call that friend back
This could be an optional step. Depending on where you are at with your emotions, you can choose to have an interaction with a familiar outer world - one step at a time. You can call someone up and have a chit chat about anything under the skies. This only allows you to get in touch with reality a little bit more
Forgive yourself first
Forgive yourself for not knowing better, for giving your best and still failing and for making those mistakes. We all make mistakes and that's how we learn. There are no two ways about it - accept the reality with what is really present than repenting what could have been. No amount of negative vibrations will ever change what already happened. See yourself as a human who just wanted the best, but didn't know the right way. Now you do know the right way - you'll do better the next time.
Our minds can be our best friends or our frenemies depending on how we train it. The way you talk to yourself, about yourself and others, directly impact the image that your brain creates of you. I've seen my mind change my image in my own eyes multiple times in the last few years - for better or for worse. It's important to acknowledge, accept and really just forgive thy self first. You can conquer the world later on too. It can wait.
Image: I clicked this on one of my trips to the Marine Drive, Bombay. The sun, clouds, moon and even the clear sky sometimes help me pull myself away from everything centred to me and helps me look at the bigger picture.
There has to be a bigger picture, so I tell myself. And I keep going. :)
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